NBA 2k17 is by far my most played video game of the past year. That being said, my fellow players of the game can agree that there are just some undeniably annoying parts to 2K. While I could get into the many negatives of the game itself (cough – its a gimmick riddled cash grab nowadays), I figured I would focus on frequent gameplay interactions with the 2k community. So without further ado, here’s my list of the most annoying fuckers you’ll play on NBA 2k17:

  1. AI teammates: The Pro Am game mode is one of the game’s most played features and is shaping up to become 2K’s own platform for professional Esports. That being said, 2K has made one thing abundantly clear: if you don’t have 4 friends to run this game mode with, you might as well go fuck yourself. Having a computer generated teammate is the absolute worst option when trying to play competitively online. Ratings for AI teammates are a very low 55 Overall, possessing a questionable decision making ability and a stubbornness that at numerous times will make you want to throw your controller across the room. Throw in the fact that their shot selection is WILD in situations where you really can’t afford them to fuck up. “Oh you’re throwing it to me as I’m wide open in the corner? Let me take a step back fade away and brick this shit.” Pass it to them accidentally within 15 feet of the hoop and they’re pulling an ill advised jumper in someone’s face. Shit like this almost guarantees you’ll be taking an L if you aren’t too careful.
  2. The “Point God” Playmaker: You see these types of players most frequently in the myPark game mode. I mean “Point God” as in these are the ones that take glitchy dribble move combos from Youtube and totally abuse what their archetype is meant to do. The ones that use 18 seconds of the shot clock doing cross overs left and right trying to get their ankle breaker badge activated. They should be looking to pass because you know… the fucking archetype is meant to be a well rounded distributor but instead spend their time trying to speed boost off the dribble like a wild asshole. Basically, they’re equally annoying in both having to defend them as well as being a teammate of them.
  3. The “Pull up from 40” Sharpshooters: Coming into 2k17, sharpshooters and stretch bigs were the most overpowered archetype in the damn game. Not only do they have have some of the best core badges, but their ability to hit unrealistically far shots from 3 made them insanely annoying to guard. So much so that 2K finally had to patch the damn game just to stop these roided up Curry’s from ruining it for everyone else. Yet in still, these guys are still very effective, so know where they are at all fucking times… Sharpshooters are typically one trick ponies that usually don’t realize they’re not playing “real” basketball.
  4. The “Team Coach”:  For quite sometime, its felt like party chatting with randoms has been absent from online gameplay, but you can’t expect to be as effective in 2K if you’re not willing to communicate. That being said, it has also opened the floodgates for the most overbearing and annoying people to give their best George Karl impression during Pro Am games. They critique everyone’s every move and demand perfection in an imperfect game. We don’t care about how you played in high school or how much of a basketball savant you believe yourself to be… Just chill the fuck out.
  5. The “Black Hole”: This is the type of guy that pisses everyone off. They’re typically good at scoring, gotta give them that, but if you pass them the ball don’t ever expect to get it back. Doesn’t matter if they’re double teamed, couldn’t care less that they’re taking low percentage shots, no fucks given if you’re standing WIDE OPEN  under the basket… they’re not looking for you. The evolved version of the Black Hole is the guy that complains about his touches even though he shot more than everyone else on the team….

Written by nyceeej

Long time Eagles fan/modern era Bulls fan... Let's just say I know what it means to suffer

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